SHORT BUT FUNNY

ELBOW AND HEART

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.  They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."


She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

DIVER

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. 
He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a
few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, but minutes
later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he
took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, "How the heck
are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had
written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

STUCK

Two guys are susposed to meet at 4:30. Charley shows up at
4:30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5:00, Paul shows up and
Charley says, "Where have you been? You're a 1/2 hour late."
Paul replies, "Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My dick's
been hurting bad."
Charley says, "If your dick's been hurting, why did you go
to the dentist?"
Paul answers, "Because I had a tooth stuck in it."